I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
