Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
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how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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