the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
