Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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