Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
