I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
