I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Someone came in the potted fern
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
