Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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