4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
