Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
