thus making me awesome and them whores
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think i have herpe
just one?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
