i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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