We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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