I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
