so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
