dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
are you so shy because you have an std?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
