I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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