i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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