I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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