She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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