I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
