i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
