Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
