he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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