I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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