Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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