Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
