what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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