They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
