You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She's not a foreskin expert like you
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
