We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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