R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
