so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
