I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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