actually, I'm a sock model
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
