I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
