woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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