You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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