She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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