She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All the doctor said was why
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize