NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the knife in your bed.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize