OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
