i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
