Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
