Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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