Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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