bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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