I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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