im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
