The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
