The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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