oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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