This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
