I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
