3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
