U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
