Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
