i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
