I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
